Wildest dreams

I have no illusions about myself
but quite a few disillusions still remain.

I have tried but in the very act of trying
Have been false.
Beguiled by the tyranny of the moment,
My mind is fickle and unfaithful.
Preoccupied with the present, neither past nor future,
Friends nor enemies get the attention they deserve .

Daily I work more than I ought
Rest less than I should
Love too thinly
Care too slowly
Live too coldly.

Only now and then do I stand on tiptoe
To stretch beyond the confines of a mean and self protecting will.

But something oddly cheerful still abides;
An ancient saying resonates defiantly with truth

"Faith, hope and love remain - and the greatest of these is love"
And I am truly loved

Beyond my wildest dreams.

(c) A McN

One of the strangest truths I experience is the way a sense of my own insecurity and worthlessness can nest so closely to the deep sense of being created for a purpose and forgiven for a reason; being loved. These truths taken singly can lead to despair on the one hand or arrogant confidence on the other. Together they recall "Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven".