False pretences

Sometimes I surprise myself.
Unfamiliar love and grace outpour;
a kindly tide will rise and,
for a moment,
overtop my self-protective walls
to lap a life nearby.

"Where did that come from?" I ask, 
knowing how dry and parched my inner world can be.

Awkwardly, I stumble 
at the false pretence, preferring
not to knowingly deceive.
Please don't believe me to be 
better than I am...

And yet, some far off glimmer of a hope ignites.
Perhaps a metamorphosis of mind 
and heart and soul is not as
silly as it seems.

Perhaps my false pretences 
could be latent truths to nurture;
truths to grasp, 
truths to grow
beyond my wildest dreams.