The ache of the isn'ts

It's the isn'ts that ache 
and they take 
by surprise.
There once was a bowl 
where this emptiness lies; 
there once was a basket tucked under the stair
but now that there isn't 
its just empty air.
There used to be rhythms 
of breath where she lay
but now that there isn't 
it's silent all day. 

There used to be greetings
wherever we sat,  
a shadow that followed;
a chin on the lap
but now there's a nothingness 
follows me round. 
There isn't a shadow, 
there isn't a sound.

The ache of the isn't 
is painful and yet..

the is's were worth it 
I have no regret. 

(c) A McNaught


We lost our canine companion of nearly sixteen years. She accompanied the older children through teenagehood and the youngest child through his whole life till then. She was my main kayaking companion and we shared many a memorable moment together on the water. Sometimes it was hard to believe we were different species but then I'd find her eating - or rolling in - something disgusting and my illusions would be shattered...