Now and then

Now and then the chemistry combines and spirits meet beyond the clumsy incarnations of our speech.

It is the sparkle in the eye, the touch, the timbre in the voice.
It is trust made tangible.
I never understand the cause or circumstance.

Sometimes humour, sometimes depth, sometimes sorrow shared
but often nothing other than the ache of life's deep longing for itself
and the soul's deep need
for company in kind.

Oh to savour all such times
in innocence without the need
to gratify my ego
or satisfy my need for praise.

I almost want to offer my apologies,
but where is love if mind is
ever mindful of it's motives?
Where is friendship when I fret
for what I am?

So I accept a little foolishness in me.
And forgive a little foolishness in you.
Every person is a fool, but
none so foolish than the ones whose clockwork hearts
deny both joy and pain.

Now and then we will regain
the spark of life that leaps across the chasms of our isolated lives.
But when we do, take care
for we are frighteningly alive
and dangerously frail.

I have been clumsy with the hearts of others.
I have tried to own affection for the purpose of my pride.
Forgive me in advance if this should be.

But still I crave simplicity
and child-like love
to let me love a thousand times without a stain.
For that might mean God's
hibernating grace had come to life again.


(c) A McN


Love, affection and intimacy remain the greatest counterbalances to the loneliness of self awareness. Yet the delight in awareness of another is so easily tainted with the self that wants to own or use. True freedom is surely being free from the petty tyrannies of our own egos.
One day, maybe.....